Hey guys – so this post comes to you from the wonderful Ireland, where I’ve been staying with my brother and his beautiful family, including my two little nephews who I haven’t actually seen since 2019, so before the pandemic started!
Something that’s really struck me is around making mistakes and what we attribute to them. One of the coolest things that I’ve taken away from the World Summit and from Tony Robbins is regarding when something doesn’t go our way, or the way we had hoped, or when we have a setback, or mistake, or failure – whatever terminology we want to use.
When that happens many of us have a natural instinct to think “that’s me”, or that there’s no point in trying again, because obviously the setback means we can’t do that thing. We also apply this to wellbeing: we try to do the exercise and we find we can’t do it, so do we try again the next day? Or just decide it’s too tough and we can’t do it?
Another area where this occurs is our relationships with others – maybe we’ve said something and it’s landed badly with someone else, we’ve put something out online and the response hasn’t been great, or maybe we’ve had a meeting at work and something happened that meant we felt our voice wasn’t heard.
The mistake in those circumstances is to think “ok – that means I’ve done something wrong. There’s something wrong with me.” But what I’d encourage you to do is consider the concept of these “mistakes.” They don’t define you – what actually defines you is what you do with that outcome. How do you take action from that place? Are you at a set point in time where you’re just looking at the thing that’s gone wrong? Or are you thinking about this on a longer timescale?
If you’re playing the long game, your view is that this is one moment that you can learn so much from and employ that knowledge going forward. When something doesn’t work you try something else, when that next thing doesn’t work you try something else again. The trick is that you don’t stop. It’s only when we stop that we’re defined by that external circumstance.
The more you can keep moving through these “mistakes”, the more you can keep investing effort – with more knowledge – into those things that you’re doing, and you can see that those mistakes as just one point in time. Those things that you’re so afraid of are not an endpoint – they’re the starting point, because your mistakes don’t define you. They refine you.
Those things that you’re so afraid of are not an endpoint – they’re the starting point, because your mistakes don’t define you. They refine you.
When you see the thing that didn’t go well as a stepping stone, you use it to propel you forward, and that’s where true freedom is. It’s just one piece of the long game of your life that will enable you to keep moving forward to the things you care about.
If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.
If you don’t fail, you don’t learn, so view your mistakes as lessons – not lessons to sit and ponder on, but lessons to take action on. You want to achieve a state of mind where no matter what happens, you know that you can try again – however that conversation goes, whatever goes wrong, whatever makes you want to stop.
If you don’t fail, you don’t learn
So this is my call to action for you: think about that area of your life where you’re feeling like “I can’t”. I want you to use that magical word “yet”. If something hasn’t worked, learn from it and try something else, because every single day is another chance for us to achieve the things that we want to achieve. We can only do that if we keep putting in that effort and keep moving forwards.
I appreciate you all and if there’s anything I can do to support you, please get in touch!
Here's to growing beyond what we've ever believed was possible before 🌱
BIG love,
Rebecca 🤍
Comments